Spring 2016

A: Why did the plant not stand on the plant?  Because he didn't have any legs!
L: Why do I not have to press anything (runs into bedroom) and I'm invisible?
L: Why did the elephant walk with no legs, no body, no hands?  Because it pressed and had something in its hand and they're just moving, his hands, why is it doing that?
A: Why did the water move without someone moving it?  Because it was a moving jar!
A: Why did the plant stand on the plant with no wings?  Because he was standing on the ceiling!
L: Why did the aeroplane fly without wings?  And no propellors?  Because it was a little bit silly!
- Annick's performance of Let It Go continues to evolve and improve.  Although it is still a 'kingdom of mice-olation' of which she looks like she 's the queen.
- How neither of them articulate their 'sh', and so still say things like "can we go and see the so?" and "look!  There are lots of seep!"
- How Luca heard the tram announcement on the 11 that we were at 'Stop 15, King William Street' and mused that he didn't know King William Street, he just knew William St number 3.  Upon looking at the tram map, it turns out William Street is indeed number 3, and a stop that he has probably been to about half a dozen times in his entire life, and certainly not recently.  MUST REMEMBER THAT HE NOTICES AND REMEMBERS EVERYTHING.
- How Annick is still welded to the regular verb form, and "I meeted Ah Ma there", "I sitted at the table", "I goed to the market", "I swimmed in the pool".

Winter 2016

- Realising that Annick's song that goes, "It's OK, it's just the sun" is actually the Beatles' Here Comes the Sun
- Having a conversation with Luca about past pets Hamish and Bendy - "Mama, do they exist any more?  Are they dead?  What happened?  Was it VOLCANOES?!"
- Discussing art with Annick:
  M: what do you like to draw Annick?
  A: people and trees and houses
  M: can you draw invisible things?"
  A: No!
  M: What about dragons?
  A: Yes.
  M: But how can you draw dragons, they are not real?
  A: You can just use your 'MAGINATION.
  M: How do you do that?
  A: You close your eyes and then you imagine.
  M: Where is your imagination?
  A: IT IS IN MY BOTTOM.
  M: Oh really?  Is a bottom imagination different from other kinds of imagination?
  A: Yes, it is more about bottoms.
- Waking up on the last day of July to hear the kids up and about and 'making breakfast'.  Annick wandered into the bathroom to inform papa what they were doing and upon his joking question "have you made the coffee yet?" she nodded, disappeared and all you could hear were negotiations to get the step, then the sound of the coffee grinder.  At this point I thought I'd better get up, only to find a loaf of fruit toast, a selection of spreads, a box of cereal and a bottle of milk ready to go on the counter.  And four little pots filled with kefir and maple syrup that Luca had thoughtfully prepared.  Quite a lot of syrup as it turned out in the end, more syrup with kefir than the other way round.  They were quite disappointed to hear that we were actually going out for breakfast.
- Luca's deliciously random non-sequitur ramblings about whatever the heck pops into his head
- Luca, asking what is 'letter' which we worked out was 'leather', because he asked if his shoes were 'letter'.  They have apparently been reading the Shoemaker's Elves at school because this appears to be where he got the concept of leather from.  I explained that my bag was leather and he touched it and asked, "but what is it?"  It's the skin of animals.  "Oh.  What kind of animals?"  Er, cows mostly.  Sheep, goats.  "But how do they peel the skin off?"  What?  They don't peel it off!  When you kill a cow for meat... "When they peel it off, the cow must get really angry!"
- all the (mostly naked) re-enactments of Olympic gymnastic routines in front of the telly coverage
- how Luca says "my tummy is wumbly" when he is hungry, or if he says it too fast, "my tumbly is wumbly."
- but how he is finally getting to grips with his 'Rs' and when I was gently teasing him about the 'Wio Olympics', he calmly corrected my pronunciation - "Not WIO mama, RIO".
- how Annick's conversation is peppered with matter of fact 'actually's.  "Well, I think that's right actually.  This is a cat actually.  I like this spaghetti actually."
- how Annick's strategies to stay up a little longer have gone past the usual needing a wee or a drink of water approaches and now encompass questions like, "don't go yet mama, I need to know something!"  What do you need to know?  "Why does the Earth turn, when it is not turning?"
- Luca, passing a WW2 memorial with some wreaths sitting at the base - "why are there flowers there?"  It's to honour people who died in the war.  "Oh.  Did they fall off the wall?"  No, not wall, war.  "What is war?"  [long pause]  War is when people fight each other.  "So did the war kill the people?"  Er, no, the people killed the people in the war.  "So if this is the war [bunches a fist] and these are the people, [wiggles fingers of other hand] then did the war go GRRRUM [fist grabs fingers] and kill them?"  Maybe we need to have this conversation another time.

Autumn 2016

- Annick, "writing" a mermaid story in a book.

  Mama: what is your story about?

  Annick: It is about a mermaid who doesn't want to be in the water.

  Mama: Oh!  Why not?

  Annick: Because she wants to be in a castle.

  Most concise telling of the Little Mermaid ever.

- Annick: "Luca, you are not biggest, you are medium-sizest."
- How Luca has suddenly started saying, in a tone of great astonishment, "oh my gosh!"
- How one of Luca's favourite games is 'Funnyworld', whereby he makes surrealist art out of Lego, mostly involving torsos and heads in bizarre scenarios.
- How Annick bosses Luca around and tells him "great job" when he's done something right
- How Angus taught Luca 'I'm the king of the castle, and you're a dirty rascal' and so now that's Luca's standard song.  Annick misheard it as 'you're a naughty squirrel'.
- How Luca's most cutting insult when he is mad is that you are "Le plus gros geant... de NASHVILLE!"
- How a new name Luca teases Annick with is "pisketti cat!"
- How Annick told Luca she was making "A inja turtle spaceship!" and Luca thought that was so cool that he would make a inja turtle spaceship too.
- How Luca peppers his play with enthusiastic cries of, "OH YEAHHHHH."
- How Annick is desperate to learn to read and write like Luca, and will do her best to outshine him when he's doing his homework
- On being told that she might have done a poo in her pants because mama could smell a caca, Annick replied indignantly, "that's just my smell!  Some girls have that smell and they keep it!"
- How they are sponges for information - Luca just absorbing and learning, and Annick who likes to pass on what she's learned, however garbled.  How they love documentaries and pop up with unexpected facts at unexpected moments.
- How if I've worked late and not seen the kids, I will go and kiss them goodnight, and Annick's eyes will flick open, and she will smile and bestow me with a kiss and a cuddle and a joyous, "mama!" and then in an instant be asleep again.
- How Annick is sadly learning the correct words for Let It Go, and so now it IS the cold that doesn't bother her anyway.

Summer 2015/16

Things to remember now:
- How Annick climbed into bed with us and wished us a 'bon matin', only to look at the little bunny she had clutched in her hand before wishing us a 'bon lapin!' and dissolving into giggles
- How the kids are getting to grips with Christmas cracker jokes and have tried creating their own.  "What is a hat lion dog?  A leaf!"
- How they don't have stomach aches, they have 'tummy eggs'.
- How Annick's favourite cold meat is a wonderful hybrid called 'panciutto'.
- How Luca pointed to a house and said, "that's the same letters as my bike!" and we realised that he was recognising the word 'warning' that was written on a home alarm system as was also written on his bike (you know, to make sure you ride the bike safely).  Reading here we come!
- How there is just SO MUCH COUNTING GOING ON.
- 12 Jan 2016: Luca fait une bêtise.  While making dinner, I hear Jason having a long, quiet conversation with Luca in his room.  I call them for dinner but they don't come.  Eventually Jason emerges and says, "Luca a fait une bêtise."  When I go in, I can't see what has happened, and ask Luca what he has done.  He points behind the door and says proudly, "it's a spaceman".  I don't think he even knew Bowie died yesterday.  And all over the wall is a vivid indigo portrait of a spaceman, as big as Luca and all lines and crosses.  I tell him it is a grosse bêtise and that he will not have any dinner, then quietly shut the door.  We eat dinner to the soundtrack of Luca weeping and wailing that he is hungry.  After some time it starts to escalate into hysteria and I know that the lesson is learnt but is about to be lost, so after a quick google, I discover that the solution is apparently just to wipe the drawing off the wall.  So I go in, wipe the wall and discover that when Crayola says 'lavable', they mean 'lavable'.  So Luca, who is complaining of hunger, is told that when he has cleaned the wall, he can have his dinner.  So he sets to the wall with a washcloth and much gnashing of teeth while Annick sits outside the room playing a harmonica, to underline the prison grit of it all, and eventually, slowly, the marvellous drawing is erased.  I wish I had taken a photo of it, but that would have validated the behaviour.  And Luca finally got his dinner, but not a passionfruit and not a dessert and he has said with more sincerity than I usually get for promises that he will not do it again.
- How Luca brought a Matt Preston cookbook to me, open to the recipe for cacio e pepe, pointed and grunted like an enthusiastic caveman at the delicious picture, then buried his face in it, pretending to eat it in snuffly glee.  Which I took as a hint I should make a cacio e pepe.
- How Annick had a little graze and Luca pointed at it, pointed at his lacerated finger, and said, "my cut is more blooder than yours Annick."
- And how mama cut her finger quite badly, bled profusely, only for Luca to calmly observe, "your blood is the same colour as mine mama!"
- But how he is learning, and on hearing mama bump into a wall and say "ow!", his little voice piped up from the other room, "are you all wight mama?" with gentle concern.
- How their favourite amusing phrase at the moment is 'chicken booster' as in 'you're a chicken booster!  That's a chicken booster letterbox!"
- How butt jokes are still the best jokes of all, and make for statements such as Luca's "hey mama, what if you have a telescope and you look in the telescope at the moon and the moon looks like a BUTT?  Hahahahahahahahahaha!"
- How Luca has taken to school like a duck to water and will surprise you with what he's learned for the day, such as coming home and writing up the numbers 1 to 10 in Chinese, complete with counting as he goes, with pretty good tone.  Or giving mama an impromptu (and somewhat patronising) lesson in shapes on the walk home, saying things like, "I give you an easy one mama, what is this shape?" Er, is it a square?  "No mama, it's a wectangle because it is longer.  That was a twicky one for you!"
- How Annick still says things like, "I a little bit tursty mama" and likes to load up her imperfects, using sentences like, "I putteded it there" and "he goeded away".
- Annick: How do you make water?
  Mama: Er, how do you think you make water?
  Annick: (thinks)  Well, you get some hot water.  And then you get some liquid.  And you mix them together.  And then you have water!  And it is quite good when you put a little bit of cheese.
- Luca, counting for fun while he's in the toilet, announces, "my wee is 12 metres!"  Counts some more, announces, "my caca is seven metres!"  Long pause.  "The smell is NINETY NINE, pewwww!"